Not one person in this world loves me enough to take care of me if I fail. That makes success an absolute necessity and I do not have a good track record with success.

How scary is it really to have no contingency plan?

Sure my contingency plan is death and that sounds bad, but let’s be real here: That’s been my contingency plan my whole life. I live paycheck to paycheck and I always have. If I lost my job I’d be just as homeless in a month as I will be when I get rid of my house and car now. Except now I still have a job and can save a bunch of money living in shitty hostels which for some reason I think will fix my life.  More on that later.

The moral of the story is I don’t really have much to lose other than a cheap apartment and a car that I don’t own. Once I think it through, burning down my life doesn’t seem like the WORST idea I’ve ever had. And I’ve already made the biggest mistake of my entire life so it’s not like any decisions I make now are gonna be worse. What could possibly go wrong?