Dating Bucket List

This is like my dating bucket list. Because if I’m going to do pointless shit I may as well have a bunch of pointless accomplishments to make my pointless life feel like it has achievements. This is a work in progress so please don’t expect anything impressive. They’re whore goals.

Date a tattoo artist for a free tattoo. Every thirty-something guy in Las Vegas is a DJ or a tattoo artist. What I am saying is that none of these dudes have actual jobs. If you’re not even going to pay for dinner at a nice restaurant I may as well get something out of this relationship.

Get a different guy to buy me lunch every day for a week. I have this theory that if I just right swiped everyone I would never have to grocery shop again. But it just takes so much effort.

Build a Bang Roster. There is literally nothing better I could be doing with my time other than finding a dude I can bang every night of the week. This is happening. It would be just like my own personal orgasm team and ALL GUYS LOVE SPORTS! How is this not a good idea? Who wants to be Wednesday?

Love a Dick so much I draw it on the Moon. Ever since I found out that drawing dicks in space is a thing now, I really want to draw someone’s dick on the moon and immortalize it forever. Just need to find a dick that I like enough before I join NASA.