Thank you for the devastating emotional trauma you’ve inflicted by moving away. I just want you to know that the post cards won’t stop. I will also be creating some kind of horrific back story to explain your continued absence. I’m going to start with “Erica was abducted by aliens. Once the tests are completed she will be allowed to return.” (This is also the story of Jesus.)
Erica also received all of these other postcards explaining her absence.