There wasn’t enough tequila to fall in love and there wasn’t enough room in the car to have sex. How were we even supposed to get to know each other?
I really want to draw someone’s dick on the moon and immortalize it forever. Just need to find a dick that I like enough before I join NASA.
Why aren’t women responding to your super bomb dating profile?
I spend a lot of time on Twitter while he is not texting me back. So basically, I spend a really lot of time on Twitter learning how to suck more at dating.
I’m going to need an entirely new dating strategy.