Acting like an asshole on the holidays is kind of my thing and I’m out of the office.
Funny out of office messages to steal
Planning my Funeral on the way to Cuba
As you all know, this whole Cuba trip is really just an unnecessarily elaborate suicide attempt. Should I return dead, this party is going to be a SWEET FUCKIN’ WAKE!
Finding a roommate or getting murdered on Craigslist
Everyone said that finding a roommate on Craigslist was the best way to get murdered, but it’s harder to get someone to murder you than you’d think.
lets get all biblical!
In AD 36 Jesus of Nazareth, the living incarnation of God, was crucified by merciless Romans. John McCain did nothing.
Stem Cell Research
An embryo is just a baby that resembles a cute little tadpole.
absent!
You probably noticed that your class didn’t rock as much as it usually does today. That is because I wasn’t in it.
media fiasco!
I would go to jail but Pfizer will still put a disclaimer on their bottles that says THIS PRODUCT IS NOT INTENDED FOR INTRANASAL DELIVERY.
I should be looking for a job
I will regale you with fascinating tales like the time I went on a diet that consisted of nothing but chicken strips and clear gatoraide and lost 20 lbs.
all fiction all the time
I won an award for Best Fictional Blog by a Hollywood Writer. I was completely unaware that my life is fictional so I guess that makes me completely insane.