Born on Wednesday Club
The A/C here is dope. Bet you’re sad you moved out of Las Vegas.
Utter fucking meaninglessness
The whole country is on fire. I’m sure it’s fine.
Sorry about your butthole
When your friend has hemorrhoid surgery
You never like my tweets
You have been demoted
I got fat in Colombia
I got fat in Colombia but it was fashionable there, okay?
She didn’t know who these guys are
You don’t have to give up your freedom to be in a relationship when you can be in an abusive relationship with yourself.
I hate banannas
Every postcard I sent from Colombia was a cry for help.
Collect my life insurance
Reminding my daughter what’s important
What’s in Colombia Spoiler it’s Cocaine
A country so bad that even tons of cheap cocaine doesn’t make it better.
The Sun
The sun is trying to kill me.