Your appendix is inside your body right now just working up the courage to murder you.
Welcome to dating. Sorry.
Stop being an idiot and eat a taco.
I had a dream that if you misbehaved on the boat they would handcuff you below deck and let you drown in soda. So I was like “sign me up, that sounds fine.” But then the room started filling up with PEPSI and I was outraged. Can you imagine? What a fucking nightmare.
Fight colonialism by being unsuccessful and taking naps with tiny creatures. Then move to Puerto Rico. They have a castle.
I heard you tried to kill your whole family
Dinosaurs are Birds. Birds aren’t Real.
The whole country is on fire. I’m sure it’s fine.
Reminding my daughter what’s important
They’re there to disrespect you.