I know this is technically “Spanish Three Wise Men” but I’m getting a strong “Sexy Colonialism” vibe here.
Fight colonialism by being unsuccessful and taking naps with tiny creatures. Then move to Puerto Rico. They have a castle.
Good thing I went to college so I know all about Juan Ponce de León who founded Puerto Rico. Surprisingly, that did not come in handy. I did learn that a moat is very unnecessary if you put the castle at the top of a big ass hill. At least, that works if your enemy is out of shape like myself.