fortune and a pony

There is a girl who never works but her husband does and she lives in a mansion in Las Vegas and pretty much files her nails and takes trips to the mall in her Lexus for a living and while she is at the mall she buys whatever she wants because she has a lot of money and lives in Henderson where there is a spectacular mall. But she is sad because she has no friends and this is really fucking depressing apparently.

My mom just bought my daughter a pony.

I’m poor and I have no friends. I’m only mad that I’m poor. If I did have friends they would probably stage an intervention for me at this point because I never drive to the mall in my Lexus because the Meadows mall is shitty and I think someone got stabbed there last weekend anyway and instead of a Lexus I wasted my money on food and other insignificant things that are NOT status symbols.

I once asked my mom for a kitten and three years later I got one!

I am vain and shallow and materialistic. Hello I thought thats why I lived in Vegas. But people tell me this as if it should be news to me or something like that. I’m only like this because my mom treats me like some psychological experiment or whatever where she says she has no money to loan me for food but then she buys a pony for my daughter.

I won’t despair yet because while I do not believe in ghosts or religion or being spiritual or whatever, I totally believe in fortune cookies because they are always 100% dead on balls accurate, behold:

Friends always follow fame and fortune.

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