I sent this to the White House.

The President should use an Executive Order to remove congressional Health Benefits. The Republicans keep telling us how excellent private health insurance is, I think they should get in on this sweet deal. Then, give them freedom and leeway to pass whatever Health Reform they think is adequate for themselves. Whatever they pass for us lesser American’s can be their plan, too.

That is what we need: to free our Congressmen from the TYRANNY of government health services! Let them come up with an option that can work for all Americans. Separate but equal? I think the fuck not! Either put my family on the Congressional Plan or put the Congress on my plan!!!

My Health Plan is called Miller Light and Excedrine PM. Unfortunately, it is not helping the tumor this fake Health Reform debate has caused me to develop.

If the President sells out the public option I think he should include in his speech a reason that I shouldn’t sleep in on reelection day in 2012. I don’t really need to vote if I get to stay on my Excedrine PM Health Plan anyway, right? No matter who is in office, they are never going to stop making Exedrine PM! When Obama sells out my family for insurance blood money and fake bi-partisanship I need him to give me another reason to vote for him. Otherwise I will probably stay home and nurse my hemorrhaging brain with Excedrine PM.

Also, it’s pretty obvious that I should basically stay in bed for the next 12 years until another opportunity for Healthcare comes my way. It’s probably safer in my bed for my fragile body. Wouldn’t want to live a fulfilling life or anything. I might get hurt. And I don’t know if you realize this, Mr. President, but there are some things that Excedrine PM just WILL NOT CURE. Like the deep seeded hatred I feel for insurance companies and republicans. And my contempt for you if you sell out on the only part of your agenda that is worth a damn.


  1. One thing's for certain, Obama needs to regain control of this health care debate. You're absolutely right about that.

    Also, faketarded is my new favorite word.

  2. word up, doll. But politics is politics, and I don't think our country is ready for socialized healthcare. I hope you're right about Obama not pussying out, but those fucking Republicans are dirty and will stop at nothing to get heard ("Youre a liar!" I rest my case).

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