I’m committing suicide by being reckless and irresponsible.
I’m not even convinced that I am still alive. In fact being dead and currently in hell would explain a lot of things. If I die right now and my life flashes before my eyes I’d have to sit through all my boring work meetings again. It’s unbearable.
In 2015 I decided to try and get murdered. I don’t want to kill myself die I just want to end my boring life die. I’m only passively suicidal so please relax. It’s much harder to get killed than you think!
So I’m trashing my life to avoid boredom and death is my only contingency plan. A classic win/win.