I had a dream that if you misbehaved on the boat they would handcuff you below deck and let you drown in soda. So I was like “sign me up, that sounds fine.” But then the room started filling up with PEPSI and I was outraged. Can you imagine? What a fucking nightmare.
I like trashing politicians and writing with cool pens. But it’s COVID so I can’t actually do an activity. I’ve got an idea.
So tonight I am drinking in honor of how we ran out of money since we’ve been laid off since February. It’s seriously funny too, because are you aware that having no income disqualifies you from being on welfare? I’m not even kidding, either. So I’ve pretty much toasted off my own face at this […]