Now you too can Dickass Employee of the Month someone! In return worship me like the inspiring bitch that I am. Also blog about it too because this award is so fucking prestigious that your blogs will pretty much explode with awesomeness. In other news I got all sophisticated and shit and bought a domain […]
this commercial rocks but I just want to let you all know that tourists don’t actually do this because they are always busy seeing blue man group or whatever. The only people who do this are local people and that is because there is only so much CASINO you can take before you are so […]
Hey wait. Was it my birthday or something like that? It’s all kind of a haze but I think maybe there was a cake involved. The only money I made all night on my special day was from this jackass who broke the pool stick. Apparently a pool stick costs $10 to replace so I […]
ok so last night these fucking assholes ran up a $60 tab on their credit card and left me no tip. And I am not even joking because those cunts were having me make them 8 drinks at a time and they were all completely retarded drinks that take forever too like a HURRICAINE. Those […]
is never talk about fightclub. Thats why when hottie bartender guy started talking to the owner last night about Larry me and the cook looked at each other like WHAT THE FUCK? Hottie Bartender Guys new name is Sgt. Snitch-a-lot AKA FREDO and we love him but he betrayed the family. This dickhole was allowed […]
Okay so I didn’t get the job. Sorry to disappoint you everyone I know I am a huge failure and all. The owner said she only had “boy positions” open and no “girl openings” and that cute discriminatory attitude is so fucking flattering. This is how I feel about how hard it is to get […]
For 8 months I have mind-fucked myself into thinking that things would get better if only Tina was gone. Then if Kelly was gone. You should really read about them and click those links too because those were some CRAZY FUCKING BITCHES. Optimism. I should have known that shit wouldn’t work. I have now witnessed […]
New Sexy Jeans with which to rock it: $882 Packs of Marlboro Reds: $8.57Making $31 on the 3rd biggest drinking night of the year: FUCKING PRICELESS This is the exact myspace message I got from hottie bartender guy who worked with me on New Years Eve: Really, you thought it was shitty? Hmmm…well, I guess […]
It’s new year and I don’t actually make resolutions or whatever because I don’t like to internally grow or whatever. So I decided to have a makeover instead. Not a REAL makeover you know because first off I am poor, but also I am already completely fabulous. Update your blogrolls, bitches. I will update on […]
Its actually really funny to get comments about my beauty or whatever for 2 reasons. The first is that people tell me that shit every single night as a pickup line and I am always like OH HOW CREATIVE. Like I can really be some beacon of beatifortitude or whatever and NOT know it. Also […]