Funny out of office messages to steal
Acting like an asshole on the holidays is kind of my thing and I’m out of the office.
When he doesn’t text back
I spend a lot of time on Twitter while he is not texting me back. So basically, I spend a really lot of time on Twitter learning how to suck more at dating.
www.vivalacrap.com
I sent this to the White House.
The President should use an Executive Order to remove congressional Health Benefits. The Republicans keep telling us how excellent private health insurance is, I think they should get in on this sweet deal. Then, give them freedom and leeway to pass whatever Health Reform they think is adequate for themselves. Whatever they pass for us […]
Harvard!
So I just parked at the Thomas and Mack and roasted my way over to the Student Union. This is basically a 35 mile walk in good circumstances, but when its like 113 degree’s outside and your college can’t plant a fucking tree for shade its basically a Baton Death March. I say that because […]
This morning when I woke up I realized that everything I ever believed is crap! Which is pretty much fantastic and very convenient considering I’m suddenly on a team filled with losers and weirdos. I just want to assure the voters that I will do ANYTHING to win. Ah. Just makes me feel all warm […]
Miss Abomination
No offense, but I consider the Miss America Pageant nothing more than a vapid bitch presentation. I never got why they ever asked them questions like anyone cared what they had TO SAY. Like, I’m sure if they had vast knowledge of politics or public policy they really would not be professional smiley girls anyway. […]
pimped my ride
Today my daughter had a nosebleed in the front seat of my car. I told her to bleed into her shirt. In retrospect I may have been a little hysterical sounding since she was using the seat instead. She didn’t want to get it dirty though, and when she told me this she began to […]
No to Change
So I hate theory because theories are stupid ideas about shit that obviously doesn’t work. And in this theory class in HENDERSON which… I’m pretty sure it would be impossible to loath Henderson any more than I do. All the other students there have rich parents and apparently no problems in life. Plus they are […]
yeah yeah
I know I got back and it seriously took me this long to thaw. Even Vegas has been kind of cold lately. Now that its a little not freezing I can think again. But seriously I have to start thinking about law school acceptance and whatnot. And so I have to volunteer. But as it […]