Holy fuck, I don’t remember ever registering to vote!
She forced me to go to the Wynn and drink $14 mojitos. It. was. awful.
I’m poor and I have no friends, but I’m only mad about being poor.
I would go to jail but Pfizer will still put a disclaimer on their bottles that says THIS PRODUCT IS NOT INTENDED FOR INTRANASAL DELIVERY.
All the pressure involved in pretending I am looking for a job is unbearable.
I will regale you with fascinating tales like the time I went on a diet that consisted of nothing but chicken strips and clear gatoraide and lost 20 lbs.
I save your lives every day through daring self sabotage and defiant acts of career suicide.
Job hunting is demoralizing and besides this gives me more time to work on ruining a mans life which is INCREDIBLY something I am truly passionate about and totally suited for.