The Problem with Optimism

I spend a lot of time being alive and I’ve decided that it’s basically just a series of failures and embarrassments. And how come I’ve been hungry for most of it?

There’s this one television show called Game of Thrones and that’ll make you wanna live for like eight years, I guess. Until they kill your favorite character.

If life’s so great how come we spend most of it doing things that we hate? I could either go to work which sucks, or I could be homeless which sucks a little more. If you were doing anything else and they told you it would suck 95% of the time but 5% of the time everything would be kind of fine… you would be like “I’ll just stay home and watch Game of Thrones.”

Depression is considered a mental illness but being happy all the time is just fine. Yeah, sorry I learn from facts. You’re the one trying to find positive things in something that’s mostly negative.

OMG, I’m getting murdered but at least there won’t be blood on the carpet because there’s no exit wound.

If you’re into that kind of perverted shit there is something wrong with you. The only good thing about getting murdered is that life sucks and you don’t have to do it for much longer. Why wouldn’t you want it to all end? I’m never going to stub my toe ever again, never gonna drop my phone, never gonna have to wait TWO YEARS between Game of Thrones season 7 and season 8. Never have to break up with anyone again. Never have to hear anyone say “YOLO” ever again!!!

And you’re comforted by an afterlife? Why? It’s not like this shit is getting any better. If I’ve learned anything from living a life it’s that everything gets worse every fucking year. So if you die and you’re still around that shit is gonna SSUUUCCCCKKK! Death sounds great.

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