This is why I can’t send Christmas cards

If I like you, then you received this shiny Christmas post card in the mail. The back just says Merry Christmas. I think it’s festive as fuck and truly hysterical.

If I don’t like you, you’re probably related to me and I sent my last Christmas form letter in 2006. I’m aware that you people have no appreciation for how funny I am. Unfortunately, I was born like this and I have almost no ability to control my sense of humor. That’s why I can’t send you Christmas cards anymore and also the reason people don’t invite me to events and stuff.

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