Planning my Funeral on the way to Cuba
As you all know, this whole Cuba trip is really just an unnecessarily elaborate suicide attempt. Should I return dead, this party is going to be a SWEET FUCKIN’ WAKE!
Death is the Contingency Plan
Once I think it through, burning down my life doesn’t seem like the WORST idea I’ve ever had.
Travel Hair Dryer that won’t Explode at 220v
If this dryer explodes, I’m going to throw myself into the ocean. If the plug reaches far enough, I’ll take it with me.
first date with my murderer
There wasn’t enough tequila to fall in love and there wasn’t enough room in the car to have sex. How were we even supposed to get to know each other?
The Problem with Optimism
If life’s so great how come we spend most of it being hungry?
Dick on the Moon
I really want to draw someone’s dick on the moon and immortalize it forever. Just need to find a dick that I like enough before I join NASA.
What is Wrong with my Online Dating Profile?
Why aren’t women responding to your super bomb dating profile?
Finding a roommate or getting murdered on Craigslist
Everyone said that finding a roommate on Craigslist was the best way to get murdered, but it’s harder to get someone to murder you than you’d think.
When he doesn’t text back
I spend a lot of time on Twitter while he is not texting me back. So basically, I spend a really lot of time on Twitter learning how to suck more at dating.
SEXsposé: Guys want you NOT to fuck them
I’m going to need an entirely new dating strategy.