its hard out here for a pimp

Okay so I didn’t get the job. Sorry to disappoint you everyone I know I am a huge failure and all. The owner said she only had “boy positions” open and no “girl openings” and that cute discriminatory attitude is so fucking flattering. This is how I feel about how hard it is to get hired as a girltender in Vegas.

I’m just a girl and all so I don’t actually need to eat or have money or any of those silly boy things.

When decent people who aren’t criminals come in my bar and see me they are always like “what are you doing here?” I used to just stand there trying to think of something really fascinating to say but now I have a LIST:

“This is the only job I could get since I am a convicted felon.”
“I am a insect-ology major and I’m doing my thesis on this infestation.”
“I’m a secret agent/in witness protection/prostitute and this is my cover.”
“I’m an undercover narcotics agent doing servailence.”
“I would work down the street but that bartender there has already been shot twice so its safer here.”

Its better than telling them I can’t get a job somewhere else BECAUSE I’M A GIRL.

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