he is jealous i am skinnier than him

The other bartender I work with is named Butters because thats what I call him except not to his face or anything because thats mean and I am not a mean person at all. Also thats not his real name either.

He is in a band and thinks that he is going to have a record deal or whatever pretty soon and thats why he always sings behind the bar because he thinks we are all going to be inspired by his awesome talent or something. He doesn’t have a girlfriend because he is too busy focusing on his music or whatever. I pretty much think that all his repressed homosexual feelings make him act like a jackass.

But tonight he had a meltdown about something retarded and yelled at me infront of customers which was awesome.

I saw Butters TAM card once and noticed that he used to be super fat. And thats why when he got in trouble for acting like a dickhole to me tonight he brought up that one time i called his back fat sexy and I was like WHAT THE FUCK I DIDN’T EVEN WORK HERE WHEN I SAID THAT!

Pretty much I think I had a kindergarten flashback because its like Butters punched me in the face or something and then when the teacher was all “you can’t do that.” then he was all like WELL IT WAS HER FAULT ANYWAY BECAUSE SHE STOLE MY ERASER! See I knew he was gay.

So the manager told me I am not allowed to call his back fat sexy anymore. And I was like well I will just tell him his back looks very skinny today but she said I am also not allowed to do that either or talk about his back at all because that would be mean. Or something.

Instead I just went to the bar and was all “I am going to the BACK now to see if there is more ice BACK there because they were supposed to go get some but I’m not sure if they are BACK yet so I will just go BACK there and check and I’ll be right BACK and btw will you please get that guy a shot of JACK with a coke BACK? Thanks I’ll see you when I get BACK.”

separater

This has been a post from my former blog from when I was cooler. Or at lease when I was younger Viva La Crap!

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