So I worked for eleventy million hours on this Athenian Justice paper or whatever and it was really hard and I had to use a thesaurus and everything. I even like waved it to people for proofreading. The teacher asked for my opinion about justice and what it means according to Athens. I know, this is so fucking relevant in that IT IS NOT AT ALL RELEVANT TO ANYTHING. College is amazing. I am getting so prepared for life right now.
So I compared this d-bag Athens war guy to Abe Lincoln. Because Lincoln totally said that he would do anything to save the Union whether it freed slaves or not. He said that. I directly quoted him. From a law book. That I paid 100 dollars for. Same thing with this douchey Athens guy. He said some of the same shit about how the empire comes first. So basically what I am saying is that Abe Lincoln was a self interested douche as are probably all politicians except Bill Clinton because he is in the hospital right now so don’t say anything bad about him until he is better.
Naturally I deduct from this that justice means whatever is good for the country, which means that justice is such a subjective term that it is meaningless. I know, its fucked up but its true. If the country wants something they will totally smash you to get it if you are in the way. BELIEVE THAT, SUCKAS.
Well that was is opinion anyway. Which is apparently wrong. I guess my Professor with a PhD in Political Science is like OPTIMISTIC about shit. Also, he wrote on my paper “LINCOLN DID NOT BELIEVE THAT!” Um, okay maybe he didn’t believe it but he totally said it. It says so in the one hundred dollar law book. That I cited. So I am pretty offended actually that me being all cynical somehow gives this professor license to give me a B and tell me that my writing skills are substandard. Um, okay I am a senior and every paper I have ever written in my college career got an A. I am totally going to trash this guy at rate my professor.
So then my husband was all “you should stand by your opinion, that shows you have character.”
And I was all yeah I’m so marvelous. Here is the thing: I don’t care about my character. I want an A, dammit. So I would have totally agreed with whatever the Professors opinion was had he been FORTHCOMING about it. I’ll do whatever I need to do to defend my GPA. I don’t care about justice I ONLY CARE ABOUT MY GPA. I mean I like justice and everything, but I like getting A’s better. I bet Lincoln would agree.