my best political advice is to wear pants

Dear dude in the back of my class who is wearing flip flops, basketball shorts and a sweatshirt and sitting with your legs AJAR: Living in Las Vegas is does not give you a license not to own pants. What, are you from Wisconsin or something? It is pretty obvious from your lack of attire that you are some kind of jock-hole who is trying to act all intellectual and whatnot.

Attendance at this University is not an indication of intelligence. Call me when you get into Harvard, genius. Can you even spell Thucydides? The answer is no, no you can not. So stop engaging in some compelling conversation with the teacher in your Bill and Ted voice about how the ancient people had thoughts and stuff.

Some people have shit to do. Like read Thucydides. OH THAT’S RIGHT, you have to read it too. The worst part is that this guy is probably like the future Republican Senator of Nevada or some shit. Maybe then he will have some pants. OR NOT. Not if he uses Senator Ensign the Amazing as an example. I forgot, in Nevada Politics, pants are optional.