No to Change

So I hate theory because theories are stupid ideas about shit that obviously doesn’t work. And in this theory class in HENDERSON which… I’m pretty sure it would be impossible to loath Henderson any more than I do. All the other students there have rich parents and apparently no problems in life. Plus they are republicans which makes me hate them more. Because I get it if you are an old republican and I forgive you for the whole Bush debacle because lets face it, you don’t even understand Twitter. OR EMAIL…. so it is not fair to expect you to understand that we have come to a new consensus about gay marriage. Sigh. OR EMAIL.

But if you are barely 18 and need serious dental work because I can’t listen to you because your buck teeth are distracting me from your marvelous rant about how divorce should be illegal… I don’t know I’m thinking you may need to re-think your opinions on socialism pertaining to dental care. JOE BIDEN DIDN’T GET THOSE CHEEZY CAPS FOR NOTHING, DUMBASS.

Also, there is a pretty good reason for divorce called “its probably better for the children if we separate before I murder you and they end up in foster care during my sentence…”

So anyway I had to read conservative literature in “theory class” and write the new republican platform based on the reading. Here it is:

Strict Regulation of Immoral Media.
Expanded Military
Ban Immigration
Destruction of Unions
Abolition of Minimum Wage Laws
Decreased Availability of Student Loans
Repeal of Affirmative Action
The “freeing” of Women from Work
Dismantle the Welfare System
More Death Penalty

There is seriously more. And I am putting aside the fact that the combination of these things would probably ruin my life… But now I am stuck on the paper. I can’t find a way to explain how this is a “new and improved” platform. Because…. I’m pretty sure this is their current platform. And by the way I’m pretty sure I didn’t need to take a “theory class” to know this already… I DO know how to use Twitter….



  1. The person who thinks divorce should be illegal would probably also be all for the new law in Pakistan (?) that requires a wife to have sex with her husband at least once every four days (or something like that – I can’t remember exactly and am too lazy to look up the details).

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