pimped my ride

Today my daughter had a nosebleed in the front seat of my car. I told her to bleed into her shirt. In retrospect I may have been a little hysterical sounding since she was using the seat instead. She didn’t want to get it dirty though, and when she told me this she began to cry and spew blood all over the dashboard and inside of the windows.

When we arrived at her doctors office she was covered in blood. I’m obviously a terrific parent.

While we were waiting my car was sitting in the sun. he he. I would like to thank the doctor for not seeing the bloody child in her waiting room for FORTY FIVE MINUTES. That was really upstanding. No one even called CPS or …. asked me why my child was covered in blood.

I thought about cleaning it sooner, but it already smelled like a dead body when we were done with the doctor. I was a little concerned about the spatter on the inside of the windows. But no one would believe I used a Prius to transport a dead body. Its a lunchbox with wheels. Everyone knows that.


  1. They probably called CPS. You just haven’t heard from them yet. The wheels of State agencies move very slowly.

    I just got my child support payment returned to me via US Mail. I can’t decide if I should call to see if there’s a reason, or if I should run out and buy a Wii.

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