I spend a lot of time on Twitter while he is not texting me back. So basically, I spend a really lot of time on Twitter learning how to suck more at dating.
It's almost Friday, I don't have a date yet. So I'm doing the mature thing and telling every guy I know I'm in love with him
— Vanilla Cupcake (@Vanilla_cupcak) June 24, 2015
If you meet someone on a dating app you can't be mad when they turn out to be horrible
— Arielle (@jewfacekilla) June 25, 2015
My wedding vows will just be me standing there saying, "FINISH HIM!" in my best Mortal Kombat voice.
— Vice_Queen (@Vice_Queen) June 30, 2015
Dating is probably the most traumatic way to get to know someone.
— Brian Drury (@BDGarp) July 7, 2015
I find the worst thing about being single is having to find my way to work from a different direction every morning.
— Molly Bee (@msmollybee25) July 10, 2015
Fall in love?
I can't even fall asleep.
— Jordan (@Jordan_Garzaa) July 7, 2015
Me: Siri, why am I alone?
Siri: *opens front facing camera*
— moody monday (@mdob11) July 8, 2015
Relationships are cool if you like to spend time with people you want to kick in the face
— miss charades (@ShockTartBionic) July 14, 2015
*Has sex with you*
*Blocks and deletes your number the next day*
— Sweet Slips (@Ndeshi_M) July 14, 2015
my super power is being single
— meatshirt (@prettysadmostly) July 15, 2015
I really think we should
start being other people.
— A Shot of Steve™ ⚡️ (@SteveKoehler22) July 17, 2015
*fills the lonely crannies of the abyss with various dipping sauces*
— Natty Lumpo (@nattylumpo88) July 17, 2015
Jeez…You'd think a guy would be flattered waking up to 47 text messages.
— Victoria Sofia (@Ideal_Victoria) July 13, 2015
Just realized that I'll never have a 50 year wedding anniversary. Hell, I'll probably never even have a 2nd date.. or a 1st for that matter.
— Blonde Calamity 0.2 (@BlondeCalamity) July 10, 2015
It's like you don't even realize all the amazing sex we've been having in my head.
— Taquito (@Jazzzzzmina) July 20, 2015
Other than my homicidal tendencies, I'm a really sweet person.
— Serial Fuckup ☠️❤️☠️ (@SerialFuckup) July 12, 2015
Could I interest anyone in a highly sexual, yet toxic relationship? No? How about an inappropriate friendship? A pen pal? An enemy?
— Blisssy (@PyrBliss) July 19, 2015
When she's not texting you she's texting hotter richer guys. Have a nice day.
— Toxic Jive Turkey (@ToxicProbably) July 23, 2015
Blowjobs still count as flirting
— K (@UghShh) July 21, 2015
Dating is hard out here for a young woman who has put literally zero effort toward trying to date anyone
— Ellie McElvain (@elliemce) July 20, 2015
If I'm being honest with myself, my number one fear is a public proposal.
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) July 23, 2015
Can't. Already busy being ignored by someone else.
— 🌟 Lisa, Duchess of Netflix 🌟 (@MsLisaM) July 25, 2015
Sometimes it seems like we're all tweeting about the same guy.
— Taquito (@Jazzzzzmina) July 27, 2015
Fun idea: stop meeting people online.
— JenNY (@JennIverson) July 28, 2015